Tuesday, January 11, 2011


 Yup, we wound up at Hasbro Children's Hospital.  I knew we were in trouble when Sophie woke up last Wednesday morning.  She was breathing rapidly and after two breathing treatments not much had changed.  So, I packed a bag and off we went.  I still thought that I was probably overreacting and that we'd only be there for a short time.  How wrong I was.

We did not have to wait too long before Sophie was taken back into an exam room.  She was hooked up to a machine to monitor her oxygen level-between 90-93%-and was administered breathing treatments every 30 minutes.  I'm not sure if you've ever attempted to contain a 2-year old on a gurney before but it's not easy.  And it's especially hard when the albuterol kicks in and she starts bouncing off the walls.  It's a little like trying to catch a greased pig! 

After about the fourth unsuccessful treatment, the doctor ordered a chest x-ray that indicated pneumonia.  We would be admitted. 

As you all know, I do not like hospitals and hate when my children have to be in them.  It's excruciating to watch nurses shove tubes down your child's nostrils as she screams, put breathing masks over her face, and the numbers on the machine go up and down like a yo-yo all night.  We heard words like "intensive care" and "chronic lung disease."  All of this is so scary and a sad reminder of what this poor baby has already been through in her short life.  But with the help from some friends and family we got through it and Sophie came home on Sunday.  Just in time for mommy to get sick...

Monday, January 3, 2011

RSV, Otherwise Known as Really Sucky Virus!

Sophie started with a fever last night and a slight cough.  I was a little nervous since I had to go back to work today but I figured it was just a little cold.  She wasn't up when I went to work so I called my babysitter around 8:30.  Her fever was still up but seemed okay.  Then, I got a phone call from Nanny Sue at about 10:15.  You have to understand that this woman never calls me so I knew that something was wrong.  When I called her back we both decided that Sophie could use a breathing treatment to help her with all of the coughing.  I was a little more concerned at this point but still not alarmed.

I arrived home at 3:15 and noticed that Sophie was breathing rapidly.  Her little tummy was going in and out quickly and she was coughing constantly.  I gave her another treatment and saw that there was no change so it was off to the doctor! 

After 2 breathing treatments, blood work, and Tylenol, our doctor determined that Sophie had RSV.  RSV is short for Respiratory Syncytial Virus or as I like to call it, Really Sucky Virus!  A lot of children get RSV but it can be very serious in preemies.  I know this firsthand because when Lindsay was 6 months old, she came down with RSV and ended up in the ICU at Hasbro.  Her infection went from bad to worse within a matter of hours and turned into life-threatening Bronchiolitis.  This is a deep lung infection that can cause death and nearly did in Lindsay.  So when I hear the intials RSV, I get a little PTSD!

Our doctor was quick to try and reassure me that Sophie is older and stronger now so she is better equipped to handle RSV and the chances that it will become more serious aren't as high.  But still I worry.  I worry for her and I worry for Lindsay.  I hate to see my daughters sick.  And I don't think they should ever have to see the inside of a hospital again after they spent the first 3 months of their lives in one.  So I'll watch them closely, give them lots of hugs, and hope for the best.  That's really all I can do.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year's Resolutions

I have not written since August.  I started a new position then and have been overwhelmed with all of the horrible wonderful new things that come with that.  But it's a new year and one of my resolutions is to keep up with this blog.  I am going to try to post here at least 3 times a week.  So with that being said, here is my first post of 2011.

Every year I make at least one New Year's Resolution.  Three years ago I told people that my resolution was to gain 20 pounds since I knew that was one I could keep!  Almost every year, I committ to living in the moment and trying to be more present focused.  It's on my list again this year.  I expect that one to be thrown out the window by 8:00 Monday morning. 

One resolution that I intend to keep this year is to enjoy being a mother more.  I know that some of you who know me may be saying to yourselves, "What!? You always seem like you're loving every minute of it!"  And I do enjoy it most of the time but lately I have found myself complaining a lot.  Maybe not to any of you, but inside my own head.  I have gotten hung up on how exhausted I am all the time and on counting the minutes until naptime or bedtime when I can have 5 uninterrupted minutes to myself.  I have even resorted to locking myself in the bathroom when Rick comes home and pretending that I have to go so that I can have some peace for a few minutes.  All of this is very sad to me. 

I have two gorgeous daughters who are healthy, smart, and happy.  I know many mothers who cannot say this but still seem to enjoy being a mom.  I know moms who have children with Down's Syndrome, autism, or developmental delays.  What I notice in many of these warrior moms is that they have learned to appreciate all of the small successes and joys that a lot of us take for granted. 

I have resolved this year that I am going to stop wishing for a nap every five seconds minutes and instead enjoy all of the craziness that comes with being a mom of twins.  I am going to create wonderful memories with them and I am going to stop watching the clock or playing on my iPhone while their lives whiz by. 

Happy New Year!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Mommy's Little Klutz-Part 1

Sophie passing the time at Hasbro ER.
There is never a dull moment when you have twins and Wednesday night was no exception.  I took the girls to the park at 5:30 to let them run off some energy.  All was going well until I saw Sophie fall.  There was screaming, there was bleeding, and there was her sister kicking her shoes off at the same time!  I finally managed to get both girls into the car and I took a look at Sophie's injuries.  That is when I saw that the fingernail on her left ring finger was dangling off.  I don't mean a hangnail...I mean the whole fingernail was just about off!  Luckily, I had a bandaid in the car so I wrapped that around it and sped home.  Our neighbor happened to come over a few minutes after I arrived home and since he is trained in first aid, I had him look at it.  He said the words that I was dreading, "You need to go to Hasbro."  If you are not from here, Hasbro is our local children's hospital.  We were looking at a loooooong night!  I packed up her binky, her lovey, some diapers, wipes, drinks (apple juice for her, vodka for me), and a few snacks.  We arrived at the hospital by 6:45. 

We were directed to sit in the waiting room after we had checked in.  When we were taken into triage a few minutes later, the CNA told me that we would probably be sent down to Fast Tracks which is similar to a walk-in.  I was relieved.  Maybe we wouldn't be there as long as I had feared.  I asked the CNA if she could get me some hospital socks since I had forgotten shoes for Sophie in my rush to get her to the hospital.  She said she would be right back and left us in the room.  About 15 minutes later, a nurse came over and asked if she could help us.  When I told her we were waiting for socks, she got another girl to get them and then told us that there was no way we would be heading to Fast Tracks.  "She is going to need stitches," she said.  My heart sank.  I've had stitches and they hurt! 

We were sent back to the waiting room with our beautiful orange slipper socks.  They looked very cute on Sophie's feet even if they were a bit big.  The first two hours we waited really weren't that bad.  Sophie colored, watched a movie, and even was serenaded by a violinist playing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider."  She was quite happy!

It was at about 9:00 when things started to turn ugly.  Sophie was over tired and she got silly.  She began running around the waiting room in her slipper socks which almost caused another injury!  I decided that holding her would be my best bet which was met with screaming, thrashing, and kicking!  I was just about to lose my mind when our name was called.

To be continued....

Monday, July 26, 2010

Happy 39th Birthday, Da!

Today Rick turned 39. I know what you're thinking...how can I possibly be married to someone so much older than me (well, only by 2 years but who's counting??)? Luckily, he was given an unexpected day off so we let him do whatever he wanted. I was really surprised when he suggested that we spend some time at the park and the library. If you know Rick, he's not exactly a bibliophile. I was a little nervous that the library might fall down when he stepped in there!

The girls really love going to the library. They love books and enjoy seeing Happy, the guinea pig. Today they discovered a new talent...typing!

La La La La!  Elmo's song!
I could tell Rick was really touched when we let him take us for a ride! Since it was his birthday, he got to pick the music. Who knew he was such a Sesame Street fan?

After dinner, we lit a candle and sang Happy Birthday to him.  Then, we stuffed our faces with cupcakes.  These divas can eat!
Lindsay is very serious about her food!
Sophie is happiest when she is eating.

Happy Birthday, Honey!  We love you!
Da loves his little divas!

Friday, July 23, 2010

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say... (Part 1)

I took the girls to Gymboree the other day and got a little more than I bargained for.  It was a slow day at class and a couple of pregnant moms were sitting around chatting.  I was playing with the divas and wasn't paying too much attention until I overheard the following conversation:

Preggo #1:  Do you know how lucky those women are that get hospitalized bed rest?  They get massages and pedicures.  I mean, I guess it sucks if your kid ends up in the NICU but those services are all free for them and they get a beautiful new room in the NICU!

Preggo #2:  Wow!  That must be so nice!

At this point I turned to my friend, Marge, who was rolling her eyes.  If you don't know my story, I was on hospitalized bed rest for 7 weeks and the divas were in the NICU for 3 months.  I took a deep breath before I spoke because what I wanted to say wouldn't have been appropriate in front of small children.

Me:  Yeah, well, I was on hospitalized bedrest for 7 weeks and let me tell you, when you are fighting for your babies' lives day in and day out, no massage or pedicure can make up for that.  And the NICU really does suck.  We spent 3 months there.

Preggo #2:  Did you have your own room at least?

Me (eyes bulging):  No, we were in the old NICU and I wouldn't have felt any better if we had had a private room!

At this point both preggos, and the Gymboree teacher, were looking at their feet and not saying much.  I'm sure that I ruined their wonderful discussion on elective C-Sections and where they were going to get their nails and hair done before the big day. 

Look, I get that most women have a "normal" pregnancy and that they had no idea what I had been through.  I also understand that I have a slight chip on my shoulder because of everything my family has gone through.  I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it's a pretty ignorant to go on about how "lucky" someone is when their child's or children's lives are at stake.  I would have traded places with those women in a minute if it meant that my daughters wouldn't have had to struggle so hard for their lives.